About Us

Meet the team that somehow convinced investors this was a good idea.

Our Mission

To prevent the impending potato-fication of the human race through data-driven pills and moderate amounts of sarcasm.

The supplement industry is a chaotic mess of influencer marketing, pseudoscience, and companies selling sawdust for $79.99 per bottle. We decided someone should probably do something about that, and apparently that someone is us.

So here we are: combining optimization algorithms, peer-reviewed research, and an unhealthy amount of sarcasm to build a tool that doesn't actively hate its users.

The Team

Rowan Ashford

Chief Operating Officer

Rowan claims to have discovered the secret to perfect cognitive function while living in a sensory deprivation tank for three years, though records show he was actually just working at a regional paper company. He is responsible for "Quantum Operations" and "Vibes". There is an ongoing internal debate as to whether Rowan is a real human, an advanced AI, or three raccoons in a trench coat.

Note: Rowan insists the sensory deprivation tank story is "mostly accurate" and that his time at the paper company was "a cover operation." We have learned not to ask follow-up questions.

Other Humans

Various Titles

We have other team members too, presumably. They do important things like "writing code" and "keeping the servers running" and "reminding Rowan that raccoons can't actually sign legal documents."

Our Values (In No Particular Order)

Evidence Over Hype

We prefer boring science papers to exciting Instagram testimonials. Revolutionary, we know.

Transparency

We show you the research quality scores, the safety ratings, and even the limitations of the data. Because honesty is apparently a competitive advantage now.

No Snake Oil

If something doesn't have solid research backing it, we'll tell you. Even if it means making less money. (This business model concerns our investors.)

Realistic Expectations

Supplements can help optimize your health, but they won't give you superpowers or abs. You'll need genetics and a time machine for that.

Ready to Try Our Questionable Service?

Build your optimized supplement stack and judge us based on results rather than this elaborate about page.

Start Optimizing